Nobody ever calls me because things are going well.

When the Outsiders arrive (consultant, contractor, new guy, whatever), they will be full of “best practices” and experiences codged from other, more fanciful clients. They look around, horrified, because they have a keen eye for the dysfunctional. I’ll be the first to admit, I see bad security, architecture, process, design, whatever it is - and my first reaction is an emotional one. Usually angry, usually self-righteous.

(We act like the last place was a paragon of technological virtue, but it was probably just as much of a shit-show there. Don’t believe our “the last place I was at” claims - they’re just our opinions wrapped up in appeals to authority).

Despite my personal outrage, nobody needs to hear is why their product, process, or people are shitty. It’s possible to be both nonjudging and discerning. There is a matter-of-fact communication style some people have that is well-suited for less-than-ideal circumstances. This style emphasizes honesty, directness, and nonjudging. It is competent, self-assured, and open to rational criticism.

It takes bravery, and it’s a rare quality. But it’s one that, whenever I see it, I am struck by its effectiveness (and its ability to build trust).